Stop Asking ‘How Are You?’—Here’s What to Say Instead

Worst thing you could ask at the start of any interaction with someone? “How are you?”

It’s basically code for, this convo will be forgettable.

Let’s fix that.

Most people reply with the same boring script. “Busy, but good”. Something like that.

Step one, skip the script. Instead of, “how’s it going?” Try: “What’s the highlight of your week?” Or: “Any big wins lately?” Casual, but alive. That’s how you light up the conversation.

Step two, be the person who hunts for joy. So on Monday, ask, did anything fun happen this past weekend? On Thursdays, any fun plans coming up? People start saving stories just to tell you. That’s trust.

Step three, when you get asked, how are you? Don’t go negative. Drop something playful like running on caffeine in a dream. Watch how people perk up.

Step four, your body talks louder than words. Uncross your arms, lean in, mirror their nods.

Step five, practice everywhere. Try it with the cashier, your Uber driver, your neighbor. These micro-reps make charisma second nature.

Suddenly, strangers light up around you. So if you want to be unforgettable, ditch the, how are you?

Ask for excitement, bring the joy, and lead with playfulness.

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