The Quiet Habits That Keep Kids Close as They Grow

Maybe it’s time to start building a connection with your kids that will last beyond when they’re grown. If you ever catch yourself looking at your kid and wondering, Will they still want to talk to me when they’re grown? Here’s comes 7 small things you can do consistently to help start building that connection now.

Doctor Becky Kennedy, a psychologist who studied over 200 kids and their families, uncovered something powerful. The parents who stay close to their kids long term, they don’t have perfect parenting style, but they often just do seven small things consistently.

Number one, they validate emotions. Not just the happy ones, even the big stormy ones. Instead of you’re overreacting, try, I can see how that really upset you. Tiny shift, massive impact. Kids don’t outgrow the need to be seen. None of us do.

Number two, they repair after conflict. You’re going to mess up, congrats, You’re human. But the magic is in the repair. Saying “I’m sorry I snapped earlier,” teaches your kid love isn’t erased by mistakes.

3. They connect before they correct. Imagine getting criticism from someone who just ignored you all day. Oof. But when a child feels connected, correction feels like guidance, not rejection.

4. They welcome no. Sounds backwards. Right, but when a kid can say no to you, they learn how to say no to peer pressure, toxic bosses, and unhealthy relationships later on.

5. They stay calm in the storm. Your regulation becomes their template. Your calm teaches them I can feel big things and still be safe.

6. They narrate their inner world, saying, “I’m frustrated, but I’ll figure it out” in front of your child models emotional intelligence. And it normalizes not having it all together.

And finally, number seven. They let kids be the experts on themselves. Ask more than you assume. What do you think would help? “You seem off today. Want to talk or just hang out?”

None of these are flashy. None require a PHD. But all of them build bridges quietly, daily, for years. And even if you weren’t raised this way, or maybe you’ve messed up before, you can start now. Because what keeps your kids close isn’t control. It’s connection. And connection isn’t earned by being perfect. It’s felt by being present.

So the next time you wonder what kind of parent you are, just ask yourself, am I building a bridge today?

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